There is a collection of neurons in our brain stems called the reticular activating system. While responsible for regulating many of our body functions, the RAS is also a filtering system by which stimulus are absorbed or dismissed based upon their accord with our conscious mind. Since our conscious mind is controlled in many ways by our points of view, the RAS can be seen as the brain’s bouncer, rejecting information that doesn’t fit our life theories. So, the question becomes: Do we form our theories based on all of life’s input, or do we already have a theory and only see it’s supporting evidence?

 

Let me begin this blog with a recap of what I have covered so far.

 

·      Feelings. We feel them, sometimes we like it and sometimes we don’t. The feelings that are really uncomfortable often get covered with a

·      Reaction. The purpose of this layer is to avoid the feeling. In this state our focus is on the outside, our minds are active, and blame is a key feature.

 

Well, there is one final layer. One layer that further distances us from being responsible for the original emotion, and exposed to the implications of these steps of self-deception. It is called projection.

 

At the level of reaction, we are still a bit vulnerable. Those around you may have notice that you seemed a bit ‘too upset’ over a perceived slight, or that you perhaps ‘overreacted’ when you threw dinner in the trash after someone commented that it tasted odd. In order to protect and justify our own crazy behavior, there needs to be another barrier, another clever and seemingly rational force field to penetrate.

 

Projection is our attempt to place an overarching world theory on our own personal reactions. This is the cover story; the family fairy tale handed down generation to generation. In this worldview, people are generalized; ‘men can’t be trusted’ or ‘people will always try to take advantage of you’ or ‘everybody cheats’. A man who is left by his wife feels sadness, which is then covered by anger or despair. Then that father explains to his son that women always leave you, so don’t ever fall in love. This last bit is the projection and it creates the sometimes-rigid life view that we bring to our relationships, friendships and interactions.

 

So, what’s the difference between projection and plain old life experience? The brain needs some sort of container or personal filing system for all the information and input we receive every day. So developing a perspective on life is not only normal, it is organizationally necessary. However, in projection vs. perspective there are a few clues to help you differentiate. Projections are rigid. They are unresponsive to new input, and people can become defensive and angry if they are challenged. From a place of projection, we are incapable of change. Perspectives, however, are fluid and porous. They are ever changing with new data, and with age, become wisdom. 

 

 

Martha Wright is a Life Coach and seminar leader with over 20 years experience designing and teaching life skills in Fortune 500 companies around the world. She lives in Princeton NJ.